Earl's TV and Appliance
Repair Website Extravaganza Supreme Deluxe
Earl's Special 16x9 Enhanced
Cinemonscope Panerific Deluxe Anamorphic Widescreen Glasses
So, you want to watch DVDs the way they
were meant to be seen, huh?
I know your situation: You've gots a DVD player, you've gots a big pile
of 16x9 Enhanced
Cinemonscope Panerific Deluxe Anamorphic Widescreen DVDs just
lying around, waiting to be watched in all their anamorphic widescreen
glory, but you can't, because you've gots a big ol' square TV! Well, you've come
to the right place! Imagine sitting in your own home theater, watching
your big ol' square TV, and experiencing Anamorphic Widescreen
Movies right before your very eyes!
How is that possible? With my new Special
16x9 Enhanced Cinemonscope Panerific Deluxe Anamorphic Widescreen
Glasses! Just set your DVD player to 16x9 Mode, put on a pair of my
Glasses, and you've got a Anamorphic Widescreen
Image, without the widescreen TV!
With specialty patented fresnel photonic refractational
technology, you've got the same kind of TV technology used in the best
big-screen TVs made today. Why, it's like having a big screen TV right
in front of your eyeballs! What could be better? For only $39.99, plus
shipping and handling, you can experience the joy of watching
anamorphic widescreen movies in your own home without waiting 10 years
for widescreen TVs to hit the stores. Get a pair for everyone in the
entire family! Do you like to have people over for movies? Get more for
your guests! Does your dog like to watch? Get a pair for him!
If you like to entertain, you can even save money with my Special 16x9 Enhanced Cinemonscope
Panerific Deluxe Anamorphic Widescreen Glasses. Through the
miracle of modern technology, these glasses don't make just your TV
look wider -- They make everything look
wider! And I mean everything!
For instance, if you like to serve popcorn and soda at your movie
parties (and who doesn't?), as long as everybody is wearing a pair of
my Special 16x9 Enhanced Cinemonscope
Panerific Deluxe Anamorphic Widescreen Glasses, you can serve
them smaller portions, and they'll never know! What's more, your guests
will even look wider to themselves! No more second servings, cause
they'll all think they're stuffed! No, really! You should see me through these
Yes, I want a pair of Earl's Special 16x9 Enhanced
Cinemonscope Panerific Deluxe Anamorphic Widescreen Glasses. I've got
my Pik'n'Save Credit Card, and I'm ready to order right now!
responsible for headaches, dizziness, deteriorating vision, blindness,
baldness, hysterical laughter, fits of rage, random acts of violence,
or other forms of madness. Cost of therapy, medical treatment,
institutionalization, and funeral arrangements are the sole
responsibility of the purchaser.
And don't forget that the same guy who invented these glasses (that's
me!) is the same guy who can fix all your home theater problems in no
time in just seven working days! Just give me a call!
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