Earl's Anamorphic Goggles

Earl's TV and Appliance Repair Website Extravaganza Supreme Deluxe

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Earl's Special 16x9 Enhanced Cinemonscope Panerific Deluxe Anamorphic Widescreen Glasses

So, you want to watch DVDs the way they were meant to be seen, huh?

I know your situation: You've gots a DVD player, you've gots a big pile of 16x9 Enhanced Cinemonscope Panerific Deluxe Anamorphic Widescreen DVDs just lying around, waiting to be watched in all their anamorphic widescreen glory, but you can't, because you've gots a big ol' square TV! Well, you've come to the right place! Imagine sitting in your own home theater, watching your big ol' square TV, and experiencing Anamorphic Widescreen Movies right before your very eyes!

How is that possible? With my new Special 16x9 Enhanced Cinemonscope Panerific Deluxe Anamorphic Widescreen Glasses! Just set your DVD player to 16x9 Mode, put on a pair of my Glasses, and you've got a Anamorphic Widescreen Image, without the widescreen TV!

Goggles

With specialty patented fresnel photonic refractational technology, you've got the same kind of TV technology used in the best big-screen TVs made today. Why, it's like having a big screen TV right in front of your eyeballs! What could be better? For only $39.99, plus shipping and handling, you can experience the joy of watching anamorphic widescreen movies in your own home without waiting 10 years for widescreen TVs to hit the stores. Get a pair for everyone in the entire family! Do you like to have people over for movies? Get more for your guests! Does your dog like to watch? Get a pair for him! Goggles on Face

If you like to entertain, you can even save money with my Special 16x9 Enhanced Cinemonscope Panerific Deluxe Anamorphic Widescreen Glasses. Through the miracle of modern technology, these glasses don't make just your TV look wider -- They make everything look wider! And I mean everything! For instance, if you like to serve popcorn and soda at your movie parties (and who doesn't?), as long as everybody is wearing a pair of my Special 16x9 Enhanced Cinemonscope Panerific Deluxe Anamorphic Widescreen Glasses, you can serve them smaller portions, and they'll never know! What's more, your guests will even look wider to themselves! No more second servings, cause they'll all think they're stuffed! No, really! You should see me through these things!

Yes, I want a pair of Earl's Special 16x9 Enhanced Cinemonscope Panerific Deluxe Anamorphic Widescreen Glasses. I've got my Pik'n'Save Credit Card, and I'm ready to order right now!

Disclaimer: Not responsible for headaches, dizziness, deteriorating vision, blindness, baldness, hysterical laughter, fits of rage, random acts of violence, or other forms of madness. Cost of therapy, medical treatment, institutionalization, and funeral arrangements are the sole responsibility of the purchaser.

And don't forget that the same guy who invented these glasses (that's me!) is the same guy who can fix all your home theater problems in no time in just seven working days! Just give me a call!