Earl's TV and Appliance
Repair Website Extravaganza Supreme Deluxe
Just Ask Earl
I get questions all the
time on everything from TV parts to TV repair, and all kinds of
subjects in between. Send me a question, and I'll try to answer it
personally. Keep in mind, though, that anything you send me might end
up on this web page.
Q: Hey Earl! I was wondering if you might be
able to help me with something. My kids stuck a refridgerator magnet on
the screen of my TV. Now it has big spots on it. Is my TV toast or is
there anything I can do to fix it? I would really appreciate your
A: Magnets on a
picture tube are like duct tape on a hairy arm. You can get them off,
but the pain never quite goes away. What your problem is, is that
you've gots a residual magnetic field permanently distortionizing the
electron acceleromenator. But how could that be, you might say, when
the magnet has been moved far, far away from the TV set? Well, and
you're not gonna believe this, but it's the Earth's own magnetic field
that resonates with the spots on the picture tube, reinforcing the
distortionality with every electron that passes through those spots on
your TV set! Is that a kicker, or what? Anyways, there's nothing you
can do to change the Earth's magnetic field, but you can change how the
Earth's magnetic field affects your TV set. You know how a compass
needle moves around as you travel all over the place? Sometimes it
points left, sometimes it points right, sometimes it points straight
ahead. But did you know that, no matter where you're at, it always
points North? Bet ya didn't know that, did ya? Well, your TV set, now
that it's been magnetized, is the same way. Moving the TV set around
will make the spots move around. And the good news is that if you move
to the North Pole, the spot will go away completely! I know it's a
drastic step to take, but it's well worth it to be able to watch TV.
You might need to take an extra big set of rabbit ears, though. If you
do move to the North Pole, be sure to tell the Edmundsons "Hi." (They
had the same problem with their TV set.) And remember, if you need any
more help, just give me a call!
Q: Hey, Earl! Hows about giving some of us
lusers some business tips on how we can be as successful as yourself!
A: True enough,
I'm a Successful Internet Mogul Supreme Deluxe. But fact is, I'm just
one big lucky guy. I'm not sure what I did right, and I'm no better'n
anybody else, so it's kinda hard for me to give you any quick'n'dirty
formula for success. I'll tell you what, though, things really started
going real good when I got me a motto for my business. I used to call
myself "Early Earl." (Get it? It's a palindrome!) It was catchy, and it
gave my customers the impression that I'm dependable! (I had to quit
using it, though, cause I'm always late everywhere I go.)
I'm working on a real important plan
to recycle all the TV sets in Massachusetts when HDTV makes people less
willing to drop $50 on a repair job. I'm working closely with Salvation
Army, Goodwill, and some Mass. TV repair industry organization
officials. One of our plans is to export these things to just north of
the equator so they don't have to be redegaussed. We'd like to offer
the Mayans free access to your AutoDiagnosticator.
gobsmacked-in-the-head speechless! I'm honored to be a part of your
noble effort to bring TV AutoDiagnostication to the noble savages. I'll
do anything to help, and I'm proud to be considered as part of the
Massive TV Repair Industry. I may even be the most massive part!
(Hyuck!) By the way -- what's HDTV stand for?
A friend of mine forwarded the site
to me and I in turn sent it on to a couple friends. Now get over here
within 7 days and fix my dang TV!
A: I'll be there
in no time, in just seven working days! And thanks for your business!
(I just need to borrow a car first...)
Q: I think you have a great site! Thanks for
A: I see you found
the page with the joke on it.
Hey, Earl! Where do I go to get some
highly specialized repair work done on my TV and Appliance in no time,
in just seven working days?
A: Right here!
Just give me a call! (Okay, I got to be honest -- I asked that last one
myself. But if I can't advertise on my own web site, where's the world
If you'd like to ask me a question, just send me an email. I can't
guarantee that I will be able to respond, what with all the house
painting I have to do this weekend, and I certainly can't guarantee
that it will appear here on the Internet, but it never hurts to ask.
(c) by BSW, 2007. All Rights