Earl's TV and Appliance Repair Website Extravaganza Supreme Deluxe

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 At Sign instead of Question Mark   Just Ask Earl



I get questions all the time on everything from TV parts to TV repair, and all kinds of subjects in between. Send me a question, and I'll try to answer it personally. Keep in mind, though, that anything you send me might end up on this web page.

Q: Hey Earl! I was wondering if you might be able to help me with something. My kids stuck a refridgerator magnet on the screen of my TV. Now it has big spots on it. Is my TV toast or is there anything I can do to fix it? I would really appreciate your insight. Thanks.

A: Magnets on a picture tube are like duct tape on a hairy arm. You can get them off, but the pain never quite goes away. What your problem is, is that you've gots a residual magnetic field permanently distortionizing the electron acceleromenator. But how could that be, you might say, when the magnet has been moved far, far away from the TV set? Well, and you're not gonna believe this, but it's the Earth's own magnetic field that resonates with the spots on the picture tube, reinforcing the distortionality with every electron that passes through those spots on your TV set! Is that a kicker, or what? Anyways, there's nothing you can do to change the Earth's magnetic field, but you can change how the Earth's magnetic field affects your TV set. You know how a compass needle moves around as you travel all over the place? Sometimes it points left, sometimes it points right, sometimes it points straight ahead. But did you know that, no matter where you're at, it always points North? Bet ya didn't know that, did ya? Well, your TV set, now that it's been magnetized, is the same way. Moving the TV set around will make the spots move around. And the good news is that if you move to the North Pole, the spot will go away completely! I know it's a drastic step to take, but it's well worth it to be able to watch TV. You might need to take an extra big set of rabbit ears, though. If you do move to the North Pole, be sure to tell the Edmundsons "Hi." (They had the same problem with their TV set.) And remember, if you need any more help, just give me a call!


Q: Hey, Earl! Hows about giving some of us lusers some business tips on how we can be as successful as yourself! Thanks!

A: True enough, I'm a Successful Internet Mogul Supreme Deluxe. But fact is, I'm just one big lucky guy. I'm not sure what I did right, and I'm no better'n anybody else, so it's kinda hard for me to give you any quick'n'dirty formula for success. I'll tell you what, though, things really started going real good when I got me a motto for my business. I used to call myself "Early Earl." (Get it? It's a palindrome!) It was catchy, and it gave my customers the impression that I'm dependable! (I had to quit using it, though, cause I'm always late everywhere I go.)


Q: I'm working on a real important plan to recycle all the TV sets in Massachusetts when HDTV makes people less willing to drop $50 on a repair job. I'm working closely with Salvation Army, Goodwill, and some Mass. TV repair industry organization officials. One of our plans is to export these things to just north of the equator so they don't have to be redegaussed. We'd like to offer the Mayans free access to your AutoDiagnosticator.

A: I'm gobsmacked-in-the-head speechless! I'm honored to be a part of your noble effort to bring TV AutoDiagnostication to the noble savages. I'll do anything to help, and I'm proud to be considered as part of the Massive TV Repair Industry. I may even be the most massive part! (Hyuck!) By the way -- what's HDTV stand for?


Q: A friend of mine forwarded the site to me and I in turn sent it on to a couple friends. Now get over here within 7 days and fix my dang TV!

A: I'll be there in no time, in just seven working days! And thanks for your business! (I just need to borrow a car first...)


Q: I think you have a great site! Thanks for the laughs!!!

A: I see you found the page with the joke on it.


Q: Hey, Earl! Where do I go to get some highly specialized repair work done on my TV and Appliance in no time, in just seven working days?

A: Right here! Just give me a call! (Okay, I got to be honest -- I asked that last one myself. But if I can't advertise on my own web site, where's the world going at?)


If you'd like to ask me a question, just send me an email. I can't guarantee that I will be able to respond, what with all the house painting I have to do this weekend, and I certainly can't guarantee that it will appear here on the Internet, but it never hurts to ask.

Earl at EarlsTV period net is where to find me.
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