Bugs I've Eaten

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Bugs I've Eaten Ant

Now, before you all get your dander in a druff and call the ASPBA, let me explain that I don’t normally eat bugs. But some bugs just want to be eaten. And some crazy people will offer huge amounts of money just to see someone eat a bug. And hey! Free Money! Who could pass that up?

3 Lady Bugs (that I know of)

I like to take naps in the back yard in my hammock, and sometimes my mouth hangs open. I know it’s lady bugs that I’ve eaten cause of the polka-dot pieces I’ve coughed up.

2 Walking Sticks

It should have been only one, but Clark insisted that the first one I ate was a real stick, and he wouldn’t pay up. I still say he owes me for two walking sticks. (Clark is the guy that let me drive his Porche 911 Cabriolet. I think it was made in Italy.)

1 Worm

I don’t know if this qualifies as a bug, but it was at the bottom of a bottle of tequila, and it wasn’t there the next morning.

About a Dozen Cockroaches

Those little buggers just love to crawl into my sandwiches.

Numerous Ants

Picnics, you know.

1 June Bug

Okay, so this June bug fell into a bowl of popcorn I was eating in the back yard, and Clark bet I couldn’t eat it like a frog by sticking my tongue out and making it stick to my tongue. Well, June bugs are real slick and oily, like they’ve been sprayed with that slick oily stuff, and they don’t stick to tongues very well. But I had a plan. I waited for the June bug to crawl on top of a kernel of popcorn, and then stuck my tongue on the popcorn (popcorn sticks real good to tongues, you know) and ate both the popcorn and June bug together. Easiest five bucks I ever made.

2 Flies

They just flew into my mouth while I was mowing the lawn. (Not together, or anything. They were about a year apart.)

1 Lobster

This is the one I ate for fun. Okay, so I’m cheating a little, but I bet you can’t show me a single entomologer who won’t say that a lobster is a member of the bug family.

1 Bumblebee

Don’t ask.

Speaking of bugs, here at Earl’s TV and Appliance Repair, I can fix just about anything that’s bugging you in no time, in just seven working days. Just give me a call!