Earl's Ultra-Short Stories

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Earl's Ultra-Short Stories Book

Look at me! I'm a writer! No, really! I'm a writer! I can't believe it myself!

Okay, so here's how it happened: Clark and I were recounting our favorite Twilight Zone episodes while Clark was going through all his old issues of Confusing Science Fiction Magazine, when he stumbled across an old article about a competition between Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke to write short stories under 200 words. (Asimov won, of course, not for quality (Duh!), but for quantity and fewest words per story. Clarke's masterful subtlety is difficult to constrain, you know.) I tried it, and to my amazement, I cranked out a bunch of stories! (No masterful subtlety here, that's for sure!) It was really fun! I had to up my limit to 300 words (or so) to tell a complete story, on account of I'm... Well, I'm Earl. And one of my stories below (Lunacy) is a lot longer than that, but even that one can still be considered ultra-short.

I'm not saying I'm good, or anything. I'm just saying that it was easier and a lot more fun than I thought it would be. And, yeah, I definitely have a thing for Science Fiction. I make no apology for that, but I'm happy to warn you in advance.

Click on the ones you think you might like. I hope you enjoy them. As always, I'm happy to hear your thoughts.

Power of Observation
We've all had bosses who just don't get it, even when it's right in front of them. Maybe it's because they're just not looking.

Sentience
Most say that self-awareness is a binary state, an all-or-nothing condition. My dog says otherwise.

Another Mother
When first contact goes horribly wrong, how do you say you're sorry? A complimentary side dish might do the trick.

Lunacy
In a time far in the future, when the tidal lock between Earth and its moon has become bilateral, when the day is more than two months long, and continental drift has pushed all the continents to one side of the world, humans and dolphins have a little chat.

Final Exam
Could you singled-handedly prove to a galactic overlord bent on purging the galaxy of unworthy species that the human race is entitled to secure its place among the stars? Neither could this guy.

Beyond Hubble
More like a sidebar in a science magazine than a short story, this entry emphasizes the importance of maintaining visible and ultraviolet observation capability in modern astronomy. No, really.

The Doorway
If you have a doorway to a different universe, what's rule number one? Easy: use the toilet BEFORE you go through. (And don't forget to wash your hands.)

Mind Power
I was the kid all the other kids yelled at for not being "realistic" enough when we played "Cops and Robbers." This one is for them. Jerks.

Gravity
When your best is just barely good enough. Kind of.

The Container
Some types of jokes are so classic and timeless that they will never fail to get a laugh. This isn't one of them.

Probable Cause
Nobody believes me when this happens to me, and it happens to me all the time!

Don't let my creativity fool you into thinking that I'm too high-falootin' to get my hands dirty fixing your stuff. Just like I wrote these ultra-short stories, I can be the author of your TV and appliance solutions. Just give me a call, and I'll be there in no time, in just seven working days!