“Congratulations. You have passed every test, proving humanity’s worthiness. We will spare your species after all.”

“Uh, thanks. That last one was easy.”

“Easy? Without weapons, you defeated the Santorian saber-breasted blood beast by infecting it with microbes from your own planet’s ecosystem. Brilliant!”

“I sneezed, and it fell over.”

“You escaped the stampeding Pantoolean tree scrinches by solving the puzzle that opened the door to freedom. You’re the only one who has done that.”

“Red’s my favorite color, so I pushed all the red buttons, and the door opened.”

“But you survived an encounter with an Arbrailean snipe-hound by feigning death and causing it to lose interest in your bodily fluids. How did you know that would work?”

“Actually, I fell asleep. Hey, what about the one in the foggy caves? I tried really hard, but I just couldn’t save that cute little bunny thing’s life.”

“Um, that was the hideous creature you were supposed to defeat.”

“Oh. So how many points did I get for that one?”

“Look, I don’t think this is working out the way we had planned. Can you think of another reason we should spare humanity?”

“Watch this! I can turn my eyelids inside out!”

“We’ll get back to you…”